90% of what we might feel in a situation comes from past trauma, while only 10% from the present situation.
John G. Allen introduces a concept useful for understanding intense emotional reactions. Sometimes, we feel emotions at 100% intensity in response to a situation and assume the situation alone caused this reaction. In reality, the situation may have triggered unresolved emotions from past trauma, with only a small portion tied to the present moment. For example, 90% of the emotion might stem from past experiences, while just 10% reflects the current situation.
To respond proportionately, we need to recognise that the present situation may warrant only a 10% reaction. For instance, a man in a work meeting might feel rejected and shunned when others avoid making eye contact with him. He may assume they dislike him, but his intense feelings could be rooted in a history of feeling inferior. Another person in the same scenario might feel discouraged but not experience the same overwhelming response.
By applying the 90/10 framework, the first man can separate past trauma from the present situation, helping him react more appropriately and with greater clarity.
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